Life after 17

Based on my last post, I was holding my breath waiting to see what would happen the day after my son turned 17. Well......on the day he turned 17 he moved out. It was pretty clear that it would happen, but not without some drama. It was emotional and it is likely a day the both of us will remember! Tears, truths, emotions and heart break. I told him when he stepped off the stoop life would change forever, that he should start flapping his wings, and that I knew he could do it. I told him that I had done a good job teaching him and he had learned well. And that I wanted him to make me proud - which I am sure he will do. We both cried, hugged and then he indeed did step off that stoop, walked down the path and never looked back. It's been a week and many emotions have pulsed through me. I have cried some more, gotten angry and moved forward. The day he left I couldn't even go to his room - but now 7 days later his room looks totally different. I have spent countless hours cleaning and changing things around. I'm not done but eventually I will have a dressing room, the big bathroom and a nice exercise room. I'm excited! I have cleaned mold off the floor, scrubbed a disgusting shower, thrown things out, moved things left behind and repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly vacuumed up the dog hair (which I think I will never be rid of). My hands are sore and parts of my body ache - but I am pleased. I still have work to do, but I can see the light. Each night I will continue to work. I'm content with the distraction and progress. My new life is going to be amazing, when I get there. For now....it's one day at a time. The child has been in touch daily, via text and we are going to see each other tomorrow. I have given him his space and only answer when he texts me. This will change, but I feel it is important he has his space AND find that there are ramifications to your choices. He will be fine, this I know. I will be fine, this I know. Trust is the key. Staying strong will be important. And just letting things unfold how they are suppose to happen is how it's suppose to be. I need to breathe and............live!

Changes Are Always Happening

Well the last time I posted I seemed to be worried about the end of high school for my son, probably looking forward to the summer months when it's a little quieter here at Clonlara too (where my son graduated and I work). I was a silly girl!!!! Graduation came and went, and in fact my son did graduate - but he refused to participate in graduation. I had two requests at the beginning of his senior year - again silly me, I thought with all the blood, sweat and tears that have gone into educating this boy I had the right to ask for; 1) senior pictures and 2) that he walk at graduation.

I guess I should have guessed when early in the school year he refused senior pictures and I had to steal one (caught him by surprise and snapped a good one), that when it came time to walk across the stage, he wouldn't be there. Exactly what happened - although thankfully I knew ahead of time so it wasn't a surprise. The week of graduation was full. On Monday he got his driver's license, on Wednesday his dad gave him a car for graduation, on Saturday it was graduation (like I said, he didn't attend) and on Sunday he wrapped his car around a tree. No worries, he was not hurt but the car was totaled. Talk about a week from _____. Since that week, this child had bought a used truck - then found out 5 days later the transmission was bad and sold it for junk. Paid to have the clutch fixed on his Jeep, and after 50 miles found out it was in fact not fixed - and now has that vehicle for sale. He had planned to work 3 jobs and do maintenance tanks this summer - he's now only working one job and doing tanks. And amazingly enough.....I still can't get him to take out the trash once a week. Yes, we have gone through all the excuses - he's only 16, he is young, he just finished school and needed a break, yada, yada, yada. His plan now..........moving in with his girlfriend the day after he turns 17. Thank you Michigan law, there isn't a thing I can do about that either. So.....I hold my breath. Thankfully I have some amazing friends and family members who are supporting me, letting me vent when needed, and holding my hand along the way. My mantra is "I've done a good job." He will be fine and it's time for him to learn on his own, I guess (at least that is what everyone is telling me). Things have changed so much and I have finally 'let go' of what I thought it was 'suppose to be like.' Most of the time I am at peace and try not to think about what is to come. As for me..........since life no longer revolves around that child........there will be changes there too. Professionally and personally I'm trying to figure out the next steps. I'm going to be alone for the first time in my life (living wise and responsibilities to others wise) and I want to be happy. But what does that mean???? I think that is a perfect subject for another post :-)

Next is Graduation

Daily I get a reminder in the morning on the way to work how many days it is until graduation. Like I don't know - I'm the principal!! I have a unqiue situation because I ride to work daily with my son, who is a student at the school where I am the principal. And yes, he is a senior suffering from senioritis. Most days I indulge him and just listen to his count down. Some days I do have to smile though - doesn't he realize he is not the only one counting?! Doesn't he realize what it is going to mean to see him walk across that stage and get his dipolma to those around him? His educational path has not been easy, on any of us. We are lucky, he is bright and talented. He is gifted and gifted with learning differences. He is also cocky and stubborn and has never went around the block the short way. School has been no different. So...we are going to celebrate in 38 days! We are going to celebrate many things. And then.....we are going to hold our breath and see what happens next!